In order for you to understand what I do, you deserve to know who I am and my story. So, here you go.

I was number 9 of eleven children. When I was two years old, my dad passed away from Leukemia. I was so young, that I don’t remember much about him. My mother never remarried and raised all of us in the best way she knew how. I personally don’t want to imagine what it must have been like to raise eleven kids on my own. She is a powerful woman who sacrificed her life so that I can be where I am today. We grew up very poor, many times we were on church welfare and as I grew up I began to resent my poverty. I didn’t want anyone to know I was a poor, weak, scared little boy who was thrown into a scary world with 10 other strangers and no father. For my beautiful mother’s sake, I hold no hard feelings towards her. She is an amazing woman who did what she knew how to do.

I remember in middle school and high school taking on the persona of being more than I truly was. In my efforts to cover up the story of who I really was, I began to act tough. I would make up stories of my being able to fight, because I learned a few things from my brother who was a golden gloves boxer. It was all a lie, but it worked. I never fought once in high school because no one dared prove me wrong. Truth be told, they probably would have kicked my ass pretty easily at 5’11” 155 lbs. I let this story grow and become a part of my story. I actually began to believe the lie I was living. I was a real jerk all in the name of not appearing weak.

I remember a particular Christmas when I was a teenager. The community knew my mom had very little money and had put together a large amount of gifts for our family. I distinctly remember hiding behind the door as these people sang Christmas carols and delivered their presents. I was so angry, thinking that someone in that group might realize that was my family and I was a broke kid.

I was so embarrassed of poverty. I didn’t want people to see the real me.

I was in high school and in order to throw people off even further, I bought a nice car; much nicer than I could afford and all in an attempt to mask my poverty. I would do anything to cover up the fact that my family was damn near penniless. I would attempt to buy nice clothes, eat out with friends and do what it took to fit in with the “rich” kids.

I had my integrity however; I never stole to mask my position, I always worked for everything I had. I just spent way more than I should have for what I was earning.My mother instilled a great respect for work.

Choice after choice and decision after decision made me feel as though on the surface I was rich, but underlying was a pit deeper than I knew.  I was digging myself into a deeper financial mess. I would blame everyone and anyone for putting me in this mess. I even got angry at God for making me broke. How could he!? I would say. I never took accountability for my role in life’s creations.

I played a hard game of life; much harder than it needed to be. I began to drink and really fell in love with the idea of being drunk. I would try to disappear who I was. I didn’t want others to know I was a “Loser” and I didn’t want to admit that I was the one who screwed up my life. I would try unsuccessfully to shut up my mind. I even had thoughts of ending it through suicide, but was too scared to even go down that road. Even though the thoughts would come up, I never wanted to act on them.

By the time I was 22, I was broke, drunk, addicted to porn and just a flat out “worthless human being.” Everything I had pushed so hard not to become, I became in an exaggerated degree.

One day I was paying my insurance and a man asked me to step into his office. I had never met him before and haven’t seen him since. We sat down and talked and our conversation allowed me to look at my life from the outside. I saw for the first time the game I had been playing and I broke down and sobbed. I literally sobbed as this man and I talked. I don’t mean little tears; I mean body convulsing, vocal wailing. Everything I had held pent up was coming out and I could do nothing to stop it. That was the first time in my life that I realized the only way for me to change was to get help.

About six months later, I moved to Las Vegas and met the Bishop of my church in that area. We began a long road to a new life. For over a year, we would meet on a weekly basis; looking at what I had done, what it was I was doing and creating hope for a bright future. This man worked with me so consistently and loved me so much that I began to let go of my story; the story I had lived for 23 years. He served me, he raised me up when I felt I couldn’t keep going. He made me feel human and that there was hope for me. I love that man. Kenny Stewart was his name. He owns Stewart and Sundell Concrete in Las Vegas and even though he runs a very large business, he found time to help me see my value and did that long enough for me to change. I kicked my love for alcohol and my addiction to porn and many other self-defeating behaviors.

Because of the change we had created, I chose to become an LDS missionary and served for 2 years in Bolivia, helping others experience the same joy I was experiencing. I served people and that is where the greatest joy comes from. I assisted over one hundred individuals and families find their true potential and begin to live it right now. What an amazing experience. I saw people transform right before my eyes.

I came home from my mission and began to apply these principles at a deeper level in my life. I began selling furniture at RC Willey and quickly became one of their top salesmen, selling over 1 million dollars a year in furniture. I was married in the spring of 2002 and my wife and I began to live our new life together.  

Slowly, my old behavior about money began to creep back in and we started extending ourselves beyond our means. Little by little, we began to dig ourselves into a financial pit. I felt as though I needed to earn more money and rather than living within our means, I chose to become a real estate agent. I left my steady income and jumped into the unknown. 

Money has a funny way of clouding judgment. In the pursuit of money, I was willing to let my family suffer, all in the name of building a brighter future. Over the next few years we struggled through an off and on income and no matter how much I would earn, we would spend more than we had. Although I was selling millions of dollars in real estate, we were consuming our income as quick as it came in.

I became a real estate broker and was shortly thereafter approached by an investment company to build a brokerage for them. They committed a nice salary and I was excited for a change of environment and a steady income. I went to work immediately and built exactly what we had envisioned. I have always been proficient at establishing systems and processes and acting on those. In a very short period of time, I built a brokerage of 15 agents and began to train them on the ins and outs of client relations and contract negotiation. Little by little, my company began to grow.  

I was introduced to the world of private investing (gambling the way I see it) and began to build systems for the investment company I was working with. I began to see the potential of that game and made some choices that put me into a deeper financial hurt. Instead of accepting an income, I traded for the possibility of becoming a multi-millionaire through these investment vehicles. By the end of it, my marriage was in shambles, I was broke, my home was in the foreclosure process and I was almost a million dollars in business and personal debt. I felt like a great big screw up! My saving grace was having a life coach through the entire process who worked with me on my emotions and self-esteem. My wife, whom I love dearly, gave me an ultimatum and said if things hadn’t changed in a certain time frame, she would leave me. I was not willing to lose my family over such a stupid deal. I was scared. What would I do? How could I provide for my family?

We decided that I would do what I had so abundantly received in my life; I would become a coach and teacher for others. I have always loved teaching and determined I would teach them how to make better choices than those that I made. I would show them how every outcome was a result of their choices and if they didn’t like the way it was going, they could change it. I didn’t want people to suffer the same fate I created.

Stepping from the mess I created, I stepped full of fear into the unknown. It felt as though our world came unraveled. We ended up filing for bankruptcy and lost our home shortly thereafter. We had no income and no more savings. These were the results of my choices and I determined I would never live that way again. I made a promise to myself that I would make absolutely conscious choices toward a better future and instruct others at every possibility to do the same.

Immediately after making this decision, my brother allowed me to come into his company and set up his business systems. For 1 year, I worked with him and his employees to create complete accountability in every decision. I taught them and coached them on reaching their dreams even within another organization.  They learned that every creation takes energy and focused effort until it becomes real.

In this time, I have successfully instructed small business owners, managers, directors of Fortune 500 companies, musicians, authors, and people from all walks of life in creating clear paths for a brighter future. I love serving these people into success. I can’t imagine a better place for me to be.

The biggest thing I discovered is that when left alone, I would go back to my old behaviors; I would resurrect my negative aspects and I am not alone; everyone does the same thing.  The quickest way for me to change is to create a clear pathway to the goals I am achieving and in order to reach those objectives; I need someone to report to.  In my life’s history, I changed the most when I had someone to report to. This is why I have a coach. I will always have a coach because I know where I will go when left alone. I have an undying commitment to be this coach for others.

Here I am, a scared, poor, weak, bankrupt, foreclosed on little boy, tucked inside this grown up body. Inside of me is this story and it will always be the most precious part of me. I am where I am today because that same person that screwed up my life is the one that’s creating where I am today and where I will be in the future. I wouldn’t be here without him and he wouldn’t be here without me. He is me and I am him. That part of me made me who I am today; it gave me this strong conviction. I do what I do because of who I was and who I was is who I am.

Like my mother, I raised myself the best way I knew how. I lost sometimes and I won sometimes. I made some really stupid decisions and I made some amazing ones. I was scared to death and at times courageous. All I know is that I have a commitment to your success that you may not have for yourself. I am here to see you win and will never give up on you!

This is why I can serve you. I wake up every day pushing through my fears and history. I know what it feels like to lose everything and what I know is it’s not the end. It can never be the end unless I quit. I am not quitting on you, please don’t quit on yourself. I can help you!

I know it’s scary and would really love to have a conversation with you about it. Let’s spend a little time on the phone together and see if we can resurrect your hope.

Please pass this along to those who are experiencing similar struggles. They deserve to talk to me and so do you!

Regards,

Nick

801-280-4895

Nick@ntsmodevations.com