Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: assume, assuming, cinderella, expect, fairy godmother, fear, judge, judging, lack, Modevate, modevation, motivation, nick smith, NTS Modevations, person, succeed, success, ugly step sister
Someone steps up and does something fantastic or does something amazing and they want to share it with the world. When they do, as in the case of the ugly step sisters and Cinderella, they are torn down, torn apart, torn to pieces and left in rags mentally and physically. This is what I call the Ugly Step Sister Syndrome. It’s a case of someone seeing another person succeeding, or being more beautiful or powerful than they think they are. They may be just as beautiful and powerful, but because they don’t see themselves that way, they tear others down they tear them to pieces, they shred them apart. There are people in this world that will do that to you. You will be on top of the world and excited about what you are creating and as you tell them, they will tear you apart.
If you’ll notice in the case of Cinderella, the fairy godmother does not make Cinderella rich or wealthy. She makes her feel so beautiful that she goes out and takes action. Because of this she meets the prince and her life is changed forever as the prince pursues her. She values in herself to the degree that she goes out and finds her success, it is not just given to her. What a great story of taking what was once torn apart, taking a bad situation and turning it into a dream come true.
Each of us needs that mentor, that fairy godmother who teaches us and shows us the value we hold so that we can feel on top of the world and get out there and take the action necessary for us to maintain that. My challenge is to not let people tear you down, to not be distraught because of other people’s words and actions, but to take action and to find the mentor who will build you up in difficult times. I can promise you that if you will do this, you will have the success you’ve been seeking.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: commitment, expect, Modevate, modevation, nick smith, no, NTS Modevations, person, perspective, reject, rejection, success, vision, yes
There is nothing personal when someone says, “NO!” What the person is saying is this isn’t for me right now. It is not possible for a person to reject you. They might reject your appearance, your words, your presentation, the item or the idea, but it’s not a rejection of you because all of those things are external expressions, they are not you.
There can be a lot of factors to a turn down. The timing may be wrong, the item or idea may be of little or no interest to the hearer in that moment. Essentially they are saying, “This isn’t for me!”
I think it sad when someone takes a “No” as reflection of who they are. It has nothing to do with the real you and everything to do with it working in the life of the person considering the request you have presented. When people say “No” they are saying, “not here, not now or not this” for they always say yes to what will fit into their goals.
Let people say no. You need to hear it because if you are not hearing it, you are not asking for enough. Collect no’s like you would collect baseball cards. You want as many as possible because hidden among them are the valuable yes’s. You want them, because they don’t reflect who you truly are. They act as feedback, which allows you to adjust and ultimately gain the prize.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: choice, group, journey, life, Modevate, modevation, motivation, nick smith, NTS Modevations, outsider, rights, rules, share, success, united
The minute a person is shunned from a group, they become an outsider and they are not allowed back in unless they abide by the rules of the group. In some cases, the rules are so stringent, that the outsider can never get into the group. We as people separate and distinguish who can be invited into the group and who cannot. We have our own ideas of what is acceptable and what is not. It doesn’t matter if this is a group of one or a group of 1 million, if there is a person that doesn’t fit the mold, the group will make sure the individual knows and make them feel so uncomfortable that they will either separate themselves from the group or the group will have the “miscreants” cast out. This occurs with employees, it occurs with friends, church groups, races, societies, classes and etc.
I can take any group that is supposedly united and divide them into two teams for the purposes of playing a game and even though they are “united” in their cause, the game will cause them to create the outsider effect. One group will be pegged against the other and although it’s in the name of fun or the “game,” they will be against each other. Thus both sides become the outsider to the other. This tells me that very few people work outside of this model.
My goal is to be conscious of this outsider effect. It is ok for people to be different and choose differently. Because they don’t fit the ideal of the “model citizen”, doesn’t give anyone the right to treat them any different than the way they would like to be treated.
I invite you to be conscious of the same. Everyone has a story that makes them who they are. I feel that each unique individual has the right to choose and live the way they would like as long as it doesn’t harm others. Are you open enough to allow them the same opportunity?
